I don’t want to do anything.
I want to sit and relax and be selfish with my time. I don’t want to be an adult. I don’t want to pay bills or set alarms or go to meetings. I want to feel refreshed and ready for a new week. I want to re-create and not just amuse!
I feel tired. Partially because of the time change, partially because I rest so poorly. I overslept yesterday and missed church. I felt like I was owed a down day because I didn’t return home until after midnight on Saturday. I felt entitled to rest, but didn’t receive it. I spent the day struggling with wanting to do so much in a finite amount of time.
What do I want?
I was a relaxing, productive, lively, restful life — shared with someone perfect who always loves and never annoys. I want it to be without any disturbance or wrinkle in my perfect plan.
What do I want?
I want to trust in Jesus, to know Him well, to love His plan and His timing — to take, in stride, whatever comes my way!
But those two don’t seen to mesh well together.
What do I want?
Perhaps I should be asking, “Lord, what do you want for me?”
I sit, awaiting the answer.