I turned forty a few weeks ago and had an unexpected birthday guest, Covid. The very first thing I did on my birthday was wake up with a fever and chills and confirm that Rona got me. I had done so well avoiding the plague for 2.5 years, but my winning streak came to an…
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Warmth
Gather round, all, and I shall tell you a tale called “Warmth.” It began innocently enough with an alligator cleverly disguised as one of our NICU babies. As this alligator began to gator roll, he dislodged his feeding tube. This change was unbeknownst to me, as I was more concerned about keeping his body safe,…
Mental Health Mishaps
I’m fighting for joy, but life has felt very heavy. I am struggling. This year has dealt me hard challenges back to back to back. I have fought my very hardest to maintain my physical balance, strength, endurance, and coordination through therapy and exercises. And I’ve had to do the same with my mental health……
I Haven’t
I’ve been thinking a lot about the things I haven’t done over the past three months. It’s been nearly three months since my surgery. Three months of bone growth and healing, of atrophy and anxiety. Now that I’ve started the rehabilitation process, I am slowly able to do things that were off limits before. But…
Feeling the Love
I have amazing family and friends. I knew this before my surgery, but man, has it been reinforced again and again the past few weeks. I am staying with my family while I recover and they are doing an amazing job caring for me and handling all the practicalities of rides, food, and laundry (as…
Wayrad Haven
I finally took the plunge and bought a home! Because what makes *more* sense during a pandemic than adding more stress to one’s life? I’ve been saving for years and doing some research and a number of factors in my life indicated that the time was nigh. It was an incredibly stressful process. No matter…
NOMO
Like many of you, I feel isolated right now. There’s a deadly virus wreaking havoc on our lives, plans, schedules, jobs, economy, and health. It is unprecedented. It is anxiety inducing. We are afraid. We used to talk about fear in different ways. I’d say that I had FOMO or Fear of Missing Out, that…
The Year of Enough
I choose a word of the year at the start of each year. I begin thinking about the upcoming year months in advance and pray about what the year will hold, how I will be different at the end of it, and what best captures my hopes. I begin to make lists of words and…
Gestation and Graduation
At first blush, babies and degrees don’t have that much in common. But, over the past three years, I’ve learned that they in fact do have much in common. Both cause you to gain weight, lose sleep, think about the future, and drain your bank account. Both are long-term commitments, require late night phone calls…
A Cautious Courage
Kelly means brave warrior. I was well-named. Bravery has always been a goal for me, but it doesn’t always come easily. I hate failing. Or even feeling like I could fail. I have had to be brave and even war against myself at times when my natural inclination was toward protection instead of adventure. But…