At times, I am lonely. I see sweet, everyday interactions between spouses and I long to experience such tenderness myself. Sometimes, my longing feels overwhelming.
But most of the time I think my life is pretty awesome.
I have a few dear friends who help remind me of the benefits of singleness and childlessness during those moments that I pine for a different life. They invite me to peer over the fence into their yard to witness for myself the color of their grass and assess its green-ness for myself. And they remind me of the true color of my own grass.
1. “Kelly, you sleep though the night.”
This is true. I like to jest that I have dozens of babies, but they all sleep at the hospital where I work, so I sleep through the night! I rarely wake up in the middle of the night due to bad dream, bladder urgency, or a crying child. Although I don’t often feel truly rested, I do not know what extreme sleep deprivation really is!
2. “You have freedom and spontaneity that I dream of!”
I can take off a day and got to Legoland or drive to Tampa to see my favorite band in concert or decide last-minute to go out for dinner instead of heading home after work. I am a small boat, sleek and nimble. Others live in ocean liners which small rudders, making turning an arduous process.
3. “You can focus and finish tasks without being interrupted.”
I can have intense concentration for many tasks: blog writing, Bible study, crafting unique jewelry, or training runs. I have time to spend in large chunks with minimal or avoidable interruptions.
4. “You spend your own money!”
Though I am frugal at heart and often spend time strategizing for the best deal, I only have to answer to myself (and my budget) for a splurge. I choose where to spend a little more this month and where to cut back so the numbers even out. I work hard; I earn money. I choose what groceries to buy, what indulgences to spend a little extra on, and what causes and missionaries to support. There is great joy in spending and giving money!
It is helpful for me to have others remind me of the small joys of these things which might not always be present in my life. Perhaps some day I will have an infant obliterating my well-honed sleep-wake cycle and as much as I will love that little person, I will bemoan my eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.
I am thankful for reminders of the true color of my grass, which is thoroughly green!