“I’ll finally die, fat and alone. And be found three weeks later, half eaten by wild dogs.”
Ah, Bridget Jones. The woman. The legend.
I know of so many women, including myself, who can relate to her doomsday singleness mentality represented above. On my best days, I enjoy my singleness, my freedom, my ability to spend my own money! But on my worst days, I have attacks of loneliness and see no hope of relationships in the future.
Sometimes waiting is the hardest. It’s the looking into the future and seeing no end in sight that makes me panic. I think decades into the future and wonder how I’ll pay a mortgage on a single salary? Who will help care for me after I have my knee replaced? (from all that crazy running!) Who will care about me when I need it most?
I want to break the cycle. Instead of getting stuck decades down the road, I want to focus on today. Today I have the grace to be single, to enjoy life where I am, to go about my day. Taking each day at a time has helped me fight the fear of being “found three weeks later, half eaten by wild dogs.” I have grace for today – whatever it holds- I can’t worry about tomorrow.