I struggle with stillness.
I love productivity and efficiency. I think these things define a good day. I love checking thing off of my list. But I’ve been slowly changing my definition of a good day.
I thought about this today as I got a massage. It is a treat that I budget for and enjoy thoroughly for many reasons. One, between running long distances, working long hours, and being otherwise productive, my muscles tend to get angry at me. Two, it is a way to receive positive touch. As a single person, my “touch meter” is often low. And most importantly, three, it is training in stillness for my heart. I have to lie still for an hour, listen to soothing music, smell aromatic fragrances, and do nothing.
And I find this difficult!
I’ve been studying the Sabbath for years now. I’ve grown to love the beauty of this day designed from the beginning for our good and God’s glory. We need stillness. We need rest. We need rhythms in life. They are good and necessary. But they don’t always come naturally. We think we have to do it all and be responsible for everything, but that is a lie.
My soul needs further stillness training. To paraphrase Augustine, it will be restless until it finds its rest in the Lord. And how joyful to seek rest in a God who knew I would long for such rest and provided a weekly reminder to seek it.
Perhaps I should increase my massages to weekly too for further stillness training!