Life is messy.
I learned that in new ways as my house was re-carpeted last week.
I didn’t like it. I didn’t like being unable to get to my dresser or shoes or underwear drawer because they were in my shower, behind seven layers of other stuff.
I didn’t like how much time it took to pack and unpack.
I didn’t like not feeling settled or home because things were so disheveled.
I didn’t like living in the mess.
I felt very much like this:
But I realized that life IS messy. There is no way around it. Life is painful and full of blocked goals. Relationships, spaces, and plans are messy at times and we have to learn to live in the midst of the mess. I wish I could say that now that I’ve unpacked and have my oodles of books back in their homes that I feel all better. That one battle has been fought and won — due to my organizational ninja skills! — but life continues to be messy. Sometimes my soul feels restless in the waiting and the frustration. A frustration that carpet, or organizing, or moving, or marriage, or children could not appease. My heart longs to experience a peace that this world cannot provide. St. Augustine famously said, “You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in you.” My heart is restless, but for now I am called to live and forge steadily onward in the messiness of life. Taking time to celebrate small victories (like unpacking), and taking time to commiserate with others over the frustration of blocked goals whenever they occur.
Take heart, Beloved. Life is messy now, but in Christ, it won’t always be.