I’m in the airport right now.
I checked in online, went through security, had my prized, homemade “Kelly Jelly” confiscated due to being over 3 ounces, (Alas! Alack!) bought some Starbucks, and arrived at my gate. And now I wait. (At least I’m traveling with my laptop this time. This is a first for me and it makes the time pass much faster!)
I tend to get very anxious when flying. I never know exactly what to expect in terms of lines, arrival time, and sequencing of tasks. I’ve had some bad experiences and have missed international flights before. I once stood in line at the checkin counter at Heathrow for over three hours and missed three flights to the United States. It was terrible. I was traveling alone and hit a low point after being awake for 36 hours and crying, while trying to sleep on top of my luggage at JFK unable to make the last leg home. It was traumatic.
So I get anxious — partially because of that experience, and partially because I am not a frequent flyer. I haven’t had enough experience to know exactly what to expect. I think that’s a pretty common fear in life: the unknown. Maybe the most common fear. I think about other unknowns in my life just around the corner. I could be anxious as I enter into a new job. I could think that I don’t know what to do or that I need to re-read every pediatric therapy book I own.
I could focus on the hurry up.
Or the wait.
I won’t feel comfortable immediately. I won’t be able to reassure my patients that I’ve worked with people with very similar issues, like I can in the neuro unit. I won’t know the name of every nurse or doctor or therapist on the pediatric units. But it will come. I’ll read and train and experience a new patient population, team, unit, and specialty. And I’ll rediscover that learning is my love language and my favorite pastime!
In life, I’m looking for a little less hurry up and a little more wait.