Bon Jovi has been running through my head a lot lately. Specifically this song:
Woah, we’re half way there /Woah, livin’ on a prayer
Take my hand, we’ll make it I swear /Woah, livin’ on a prayer.
I now present to you the song by Bon Jovi, (featuring Kelly’s annotated notes):
Woah, we’re half way there (half way through my healing, half way to weight bearing!)
Woah, livin’ on a prayer (TRUTH! Living with constant prayers for hope and healing)
Take my hand, (for balance) we’ll make it (safety to the shower) I swear
Woah, livin’ on a prayer. (Not a bad place to live!)
I am five weeks from surgery and it is five weeks until I see the surgeon again for a check up and to gain more weight bearing and movement clearance for my foot. I continue to scoot, hobble, and roll through my days. From bed, to couch, to shower, to bed. A nice little circuit I’ve got going here.
My proofs of progress are spacing out the further I get from surgery. Early on I had specific factors to track: medicine, pain levels, sleep lengths, sensation, swelling, and mastery of my needed equipment . There seemed to be some win tracked and celebrated at least once a week. But now, this far from surgery, there are less external signs of healing. I’m just steadily laying down bone, securing screws, watching incisions heal, and trusting that everything that needs to be happening underneath the surface is indeed occurring. It’s a strange phase of waiting.
I read a quote by Alexander Dumas recently in The Count of Monte Cristo, “All of human is summed up in two words: wait and hope.” I feel that.
Wait for healing. Wait for resolution. Wait for financial provision. Wait to be cleared. Wait to return home. Wait to feel normal again.
And Hope… for all the same things.
Wait and Hope. Two beautiful words. Two beautiful sentiments. Two difficult things to do. That’s why I’m livin’ on a prayer. I will always fail if I rely on my own strength to remain patient and optimistic. So I ask for help from friends and family, and I pray to God who is an expert in both waiting and hoping.
Wait, hope, pray. And celebrate whenever you can.