Do You Dread Weddings?

It’s a Saturday. People everywhere are being joined in holy matrimony. Pinterest boards aside, do you dread weddings? Do they tend to remind you more of what you lack than you are able to celebrate with the new couple?

I fall into this category.

A few weeks ago I had the pleasure of attending a friend’s wedding. We were tight in high school, but college and grad school took us to different states so I haven’t seen her in years. It was a joy to witness a beautiful wedding, have a mini-high school reunion, and celebrate with my dear friends.

seema cake cutting

seema wedding


But inevitably, the bouquet toss approached. I’ve experienced years of awkwardly tromping out into the middle of the dance floor, standing conspicuously, and vying for a cluster of flowers. It’s not my favorite part of weddings. It is the time I am most reminded that I am single, that I don’t have that special someone by my side. I was also asked by a dear, and well-meaning mom, “Kelly, you are the last one! When will you have good news for us?!” Further reminders of my singleness. I know that whenever such questions are asked, that the asker is really saying, “Kelly, you are rad! I can’t wait for the day that a man recognizes your radness!” It is always asked in love, but sometimes it is still a painful reminder. I leave conversations thinking, “Maybe I’ll just adopt several cats on my way home and be the crazy cat lady.”

But just twelve hours later, my singleness was redeemed. I went to church Sunday morning and the mother of a young lady I disciple found me, hugged me and thanked me for using my singleness well. This mother of four knows the importance of motherhood, and the time constraints that accompany such a crucial role. She reminded me that I might not always have such flexibility in my schedule and thanked me, with tears in her eyes, for being intentional during this season of my life.  This short conversation negated all the angst left over from the night before and was a huge boost for my heart.

Each season has constraints and each season has rewards. It matters how I use my singleness. I am determined not to waste it.

8 comments / Add your comment below

  1. As long as I’ve know you, you haven’t been wasting these years. There are pros and cons to every stage of life. The greener grass is not always as green as it looks.

  2. Amen to Tonya! You write well and many benefit from reading your word. You help innumerable folks daily in your work at the hospital, just to name a few things!

    I am inspired by your accomplishments also in running races. Makes me want to hang in there to do healthy things physically!

    And in this imperfect world, some married folks are unhappy being married…

    So again, Amen to Tonya’s comments!

  3. Dearest, I just noted that you referred to people being jointed in holy matrimony instead of joined. I am going to assume that this is intentional because it’s something OT related. 🙂

  4. You look stunning in that red dress. I don’t know what to say about the careless remarks of some folks. It reminds me to keep my mouth closed unless The
    Lord prompts me to speak. God sees you, and He is well pleased in how you’re using singleness.

  5. It’s funny in a way, but I feel the same way about age. The older I get the more intentional I want to be about how I use my days. Since we never know how many days God has given us, I want to use mine wisely.
    You are much loved!

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