Not the best year of my life.
I was dealing with multiple losses. Broken relationships. Broken expectations. Broken dreams.
I was drowning in sorrow. And it seemed like no one knew it. I tried to let it out bits at a time and, more often than not, people would pat me on the back, quote a verse or Psalm or platitude and be done with me. They frequently said this, “Kelly, just think of Joseph. He was in a dark place for a time, but God meant it for good!”
That was painful. I still have a difficult time reading about Joseph’s story.
I don’t disagree with the sentiment at all. I completely agree that God is sovereign and can orchestrate things for good. But at that moment, I just wanted someone to just sit with me and let me cry. To allow me to grieve. Even too help me grieve better.
I was reaching for a connection. Someone who understood how difficult this time was for me. Someone who would dive into my well of sorrow and help me swim toward the surface.
I found my connection in Scripture and clung to a verse throughout this year. The refrain of Psalm 42 and 43 reads, “Why are you cast down, O my soul? Why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him, my salvation and my God.”
Most days I could only get through the first half of the verse before bursting into tears. But I loved this verse because it allowed me to grieve, to mourn, to be sad. It let me know that I wasn’t alone. That my cries were indeed heard.