Nov 29, 2017 - Health, My Story    No Comments

Seeking Thanksgiving

Hospitals don’t get holidays.

Sickness doesn’t take a break, so hospitals have to keep working to promote wellness and health — no matter what date the calendar says.

I was thankful to have the weekend before Thanksgiving off this year to celebrate with my family. We’ve come to expect this “modified Thanksgiving” since I often work the week of Thanksgiving, serving the little turkeys.

I am thankful to let my coworkers have the day off to spend with their families. I am thankful for my job. I am thankful to wear funny headbands and try to make the best of a holiday where no one wants to be in the hospital: patients or staff. I see purpose in these choices and in my work. But I still sometimes dread going home after work on holidays. I work until after dinner time, which makes it difficult to attend any Thanksgiving festivities. Most of my in town friends were traveling or had plans earlier in the day.

I sought to find a place at someone’s table and it just wasn’t an option. I felt like a the holiday orphan. I had a choice to make here. Even though I got to celebrate with my family just a few days before, it still felt lonely to anticipate celebrating a holiday with leftovers eaten on my lap at home alone. Holidays are difficult. They are difficult if you’re alone. They are difficult if you’re with family. They are full of expectations and grand plans and often don’t live up to them. I wished that spending the evening alone didn’t bother me, but it did. I had a choice to make here, I needed to ask for help. I needed to share my need. To see who else felt alone and was looking for another option just like I was.

I was able to go on a last minute adventure to Disney with a coworker who was in the same situation as me. We had a Thanksgiving feast in Pandora, complete with Na’vi beverages. I ended up having a full and pleasant day. I am so thankful for everyone who got to celebrate with their families and friends on Thursday. If you were like me and separated from loved ones, for any reason, I fight for gratitude alongside you. I had to expend effort to seek thanks giving this year. I sought to practice defiant joy. I had to share my need.

I’ve realized more and more that giving thanks is not a natural tendency. It requires work. It requires a community to remind me of my blessings. It takes friends and family and coworkers to give hugs, phone calls, texts, and last minute Disney adventures to remind me that I’m not really alone. I spent my day seeking thanks giving, and it was worth it.

 

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