Life is tough.
Grief is real.
Blocked goals abound in life.
Though it comes in many forms– broken relationships, missed opportunities, or dashed expectations — we are confronted with a life that is not the way we thought it would be.
So what do I do when I am confronted with this feeling? Do I bottle up my emotions and avoid sharing my needs for fear of sounding needy? Do I spill all my feels on anyone who will listen?
I don’t believe either of those two options are the wisest choice, but a balance of sharing with safe people is essential. I am currently in the midst of a season of blocked goals. Sometimes tears escape my eyes. Sometimes my mind wanders, full of “what ifs.” I was recently sharing these feelings with a coworker who is walking through her own valley of the shadow. We commiserated on the need to share our emotions without feeling overwhelming. She shared this analogy with me.
It’s like I have a giant pile of beans representing my lament. This pile is so large it could crush me. I cannot keep it to myself or bear underneath the weight of it, but I also can’t back up a dump truck and dump my beans all on someone else or it could crush them. So I’m trying to pass out my beans one at a time to loving friends who care about my heart. Slowly my pile will disperse and I can breathe again.
I responded, “Yes, friend. I’ll would love to take a hand full of your beans. And thank you for helping me carry mine as well.”
I imagine we are all familiar with the crushing weight of a pile of beans. The situations look different, but the feelings are recognizable. Hoarding my beans crushes me. People want to help me carry my pile of beans. Disappointments in life are so much easier in community where many hands help carry the weight.
If you are in a season of disappointment or blocked goals. If you have a proverbial pile of beans threatening to crush you, don’t hide; ask for help. Look to your community and share your beans.