It is a crazy, wild ride at times. I feel as though I am just starting adventures on multiple fronts and have had moments of panic lately feeling unready for the road ahead.
But I’m sure I’m alone in this feeling.
No one else feels unready, unsure, unorganized, or undone by life’s little adventures.
Oh, you do? Man, am I glad to hear that.
I took some time for self care today and went to the ocean. There are precious few places in this world where I can sit, be, rest, and not feel the need to do anything productive. Luckily the beach is one of those places. I fully expected to arrive at the ocean, sit, think, and cry. But as I drove toward the shore and tears were already fighting their way forward, unwilling to wait until arrival. I cried and prayed and thought and talked to the Lord in my anxiety and fear. I floated in waves, laid on the beach, watched fellow beach-goers. I was still — for the first time in weeks, truly still and able to listen to my Lord.
The ocean is magic in my life. I burn easily, don’t love the sand, and hate swimming in water that I can’t see the bottom of, but somehow none of that matters when I’m at the ocean. I always come away with a memory, a story, or a song that is important to my soul. Here was today’s object lesson from the ocean:
Life is like an ocean. It is never stable or still. Large and small waves hound me at every moment just like adventures, problems, and changes in life. Sometimes a wave is larger than anticipated and I get a mouthful of unexpected seawater. I have to decide whether this unexpected sodium intake will ruin my experience or if, instead, I’ll laugh it off. Sometimes the waves roll right over me, dragging me under, surrounding me with their weight. What will I do when life is overwhelming and I feel as though I’m drowning? Where will I turn? I could never see what was behind the especially large waves. I could only see the immediate ridge. Sometimes I tried to turn around and look toward the shore of safety, and unseen waves beat me up, smacking me in the back. I learned that life is never steady or stable, it is always a moving target… but it is also an adventure. I can try to run away from the waves and retreat back to the relative safety of the shore. Or I can face the great, wide unknown, place my trust in a known God, raise my hands and dive in.
I’m choosing to live life as an adventure.
I’m shore glad too.