Browsing "Humor"
Jul 16, 2013 - Humor, My Story    3 Comments

Sole Mates

I’m missing a sock.

Half of my favorite pair of running socks. I love them because they’re different. Bright green. Snazzy – with a little extra flair. And Functional – so they don’t slip down my heel mid-run.

But one has been missing for weeks. She ran away after her last time in the laundry.

I searched washer, dryer, and floor. Hamper, sock drawer, and roommate’s laundry piles. To no avail.

I finally got tired of looking at one lonely sock. So I did something about it. I wrote a letter:

Sole Mate Lonely

 

The note reads:

“Sock seeking Sole Mate! Enjoys exercise and the wind in my fibers and the feel of a good bath afterward. If you find any sock that would fit this profile, send her my way! Love, one lonely green sock.”

My plan was to pin the note to the sock and hang  it in the laundry room so that four sets of eyes could look for his mate instead of just one.

But I decided to change out of my PJ’s first. I chose a shirt to wear for the day, and as luck would have it, the matching green sock fell out of my shirt! No joke! I started giggling right there in my closet.

matching green socks sole matesI didn’t even get to the laundry room to post my note! But I was delighted nonetheless. This wasn’t a waste of time, searching for my missing sock for weeks, or writing this note, or taking pictures and writing this blog post for that matter. Without even intending to, I’d just created a story. I turned a frustration into something fun.

And that is always a worthwhile activity!

IMG_0504Thanks for reading. Hopefully I won’t have to do anymore sock match making for some time. But I do have to admit that my Sock Match note did find a mate in about thirty seconds. That has to be a record!

 

 

Apr 30, 2013 - Humor, My Story    1 Comment

Holey Lessons

I learned a valuable lesson from my sock today.

Here’s my story: I found a pair of work shoes I’d forgotten I had last week.

shoes

They were in good shape, and felt way more comfortable than I remembered. I thought I’d struck gold! New, comfortable shoes, right there in my closet! Why had I buried them in the back? Why had I stopped wearing these shoes?

hole in sock

Oh yeah. That’s why.

These shoes are sock devour-ers. I’d forgotten about this unseen side effect.

But this silly example, with it’s casualty of one sock, got me thinking. What else have I forgotten? How else do I idealize the past and forget the struggle, the pain, the holes in my heart? I think more often than I’d like to admit. We all are at risk for this type of thinking — with past relationships, or previous jobs, or former housing situations. We can forget the difficult, strenuous, or tumultuous times and long for what was. I want, instead, to remember the struggle and be thankful for where I am now. I learned a lesson from my sock today.

The Struggle is part of the Story

Apr 3, 2013 - Humor, My Story    2 Comments

National Freestyle Walking Day

Today is a national holiday.

Did you celebrate?

Did you do an unnecessary twirl or a nonsensical jig getting from point A to point B? Did you toss in an little extra strut or swagger whilst ambulating? Did you stride to the song in your head?

I did.

We celebrated in my office today with a little Parkour. Right after lunch, anyone who was up for some fun lined up and did whatever came naturally. Parkour can be thought of as acrobatic movements from point A to point B. It is often times the least efficient way to move. Here are a few stupendous examples from a Parkour movie released several years ago.

Our celebrations looked more like The Office version of  “Hardcore” Parkour.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k05IUGsbSPo

In the words of Jim Halpert, “Technically they are doing Parkour in moving from point A to point B… if point A is delusion and point B is the hospital.”

Good thing we work in a hospital! Especially for moments like this:

But to me — a person abnormally obsessed with efficiency and unhealthily annoyed my inefficiency– it was a beautiful thing. I time, less than a minute to let loose and celebrate something silly. No matter what your job is or what takes the majority of your time or energy, it can be grueling. I’m determined to look for the little parties in the midst of the mundane. And to take time to celebrate a smidgen of inefficiency.

Happy Freestyle Walking!

Mar 21, 2013 - Health, Humor, My Story    No Comments

My Kamikaze Crown — UPDATE!

For those of you who missed it, my tooth fell out last week.

You can read the full story here.

This morning I phoned my dentist again and asked him to adjust the mouthguard or crown or something. You see since my crown literally leaped out of its home, I’ve been unable to wear my mouthguard for fear that I would repeat the same debacle.

Tooth glue Crown

But at night I apparently act out my dreams by clenching my teeth. So I’ve had a lot of dreams where my teeth fall out or glass breaks, or last night I dreamed that I had four flat tires. My mind plays weird tricks on me.

Anyway, I went to the dentist this morning and explained the problem. He donned the paper napkin on a chain and tilted me back in the chair. He then set to work checking the security of my “patch job.”

He Wiggled. Tugged. Rocked. Strained.

But the crown didn’t budge.

He exclaimed, “Wow! Good job. It’s in there really securely so I’m not going to mess with it until we put the permanent on. What did you use to glue it?”

I beamed. MacGyver skills score! It’s nice finding out you have talents you didn’t know you had!

Everything was filed down as needed and I hopefully won’t have any flat tire dreams for the foreseeable future.

Thanks for asking for an update, friends!

 

 

Mar 15, 2013 - Health, Humor, My Story    3 Comments

My Kamikaze Crown

My tooth fell out this morning.

Not kidding.

I’m in my thirties, well past the time when such occurrences should be common place. I’ve had a tooth that has given me loads of trouble over the past year. After a filling, a crown and a root canal (and several thousand dollars), it still isn’t fixed. I returned to the dentist this week to get the crown replaced. So I’m currently sporting a temporary crown on T3… complete with temporary cement.

Apparently, it just couldn’t hang on anymore and leap right off my tooth. My kamikaze crown.

So this morning when I  woke up and took out my mouthguard (another dental nightmare!) – my temporary crown came out wedged in the molding.

(panic)

I immediately called the dentist and said he’d need to re-cement it. Only he wasn’t in today since he had a continuing education course… and wouldn’t be back until Tuesday. I felt the small remnant with my tongue — a puny plateau of a tooth — and knew this couldn’t wait until Tuesday.

MacGyver to the rescue!

I went to Walgreens and obtained over the counter tooth cement — who knew such a thing existed?! Perhaps I am not the only one who struggles with kamikaze crowns.

I pulled together my tools and placed them on a clean towel — so at least it somewhat resembled a sterile field! Toothpicks, Floss, hot water, ice water, and tooth glue.

Tooth glue Crown

First I had to exonerate the crown from it’s mouthguard casing. It was wedged tightly. So I alternated soaking it in warm water and then ice water until I could pop the crown loose. (I knew watching all that TV would be good for something!!) Then I got all of the old glue off that I could muster with floss and toothpicks. Brushed my teeth — very gingerly!– and put the Recapit to the test. Hours later the crown is still holding tight.

Here’s what I learned from this experience: I can’t prepare for everything! I want to think of all the possibilities, plan ahead, and not be caught off guard. But in dental work, as in life, that’s just not possible. I was thankful today that I was able to deal with a problem, and laugh at it at the same time. I am thankful with my planning gene doesn’t completely obliterate my “roll with it” gene and I can truly take life one crazy moment at a time, kamikaze crown and all.

How about you? Have you had any unexpected self-surgeries lately?

Mar 14, 2013 - Humor    No Comments

Random Ranting, Part I

I currently have a cold — which causes me to watch a lot of DVDs — which allows me to notice things. Things look different on TV than they do in real life. Herein lies my random rant: Coffee to go delivered in a paper bag.

I’ve seen it on multiple shows with Gilmore Girls perhaps being the biggest culprit.

Gilmore Girls

Has anyone else noticed that a to go cup of coffee is often delivered in a paper bag? It happens all the time. Actor one shows up with a treat for actor two which consists of a paper cup of coffee in an oversized paper bag. It’s not a snug fitting paper bag which would encourage the dangerously hot beverage to remain upright in the bag. Not only this, but said bag is wantonly slung around during transport with no regard for the scalding liquid carried inside! Where did we get this idea from? Does any store actually deliver to go coffee in a paper bag? I’ve seen the cup carriers — which seems to me a far safer transport method.

I think this random rant means, first of all, that I need to get well and stop watching TV, but more importantly to remind myself that DVDs don’t represent real life. No one’s life wraps up neatly in 22 or 44 minute segments. Everyone’s life has strings of days which hold either little drama or little laughter, or both. Everyone spills their coffee sometimes… which is why we should not carry it in paper bags!

Has anyone else ever noticed this? I may have just ruined you if you didn’t because you’ll see it everywhere now!

Feb 20, 2013 - Humor    2 Comments

How to Write a Worship Song

In FIVE MINUTES OR LESS!!!

No joke.

I got this video from a bonafide worship leader who writes his own fantastical music that I get to enjoy weekly.

Glad to know his secret, but I hope he uses other methods as well…

Remember, something always has to be in flames.

Woah.

Feb 14, 2013 - Crafting, Humor    2 Comments

How MacGyver Saved Valentine’s Day

I Love MacGyver. In many ways he’s my inspiration in life.

MacGyver

This year he saved Valentine’s Day.

Not just because he’s dreamy, with an endless supply of girlfriends, and a waterfall of mullet-y locks. His inspirational ingenuity got me out of a tough bind.

I love being creative and making do with whatever I have in front of me. For the past several years, I’ve made it a commitment not to mope on Valentine’s Day. It’s too easy to get sucked into thinking about what I want and don’t have. Instead I’ve purposed to make someone elses day. I’ve offered to babysit for friends so that they could have a nice dinner out. I’ve sent cards to all my rad single friends. Here’s the story of a well-intentioned, sweet Valentine’s gift gone awry and saved by my mad MacGyvering skills!

A little background:

This is my friend, Tracy. She’s rad!

Jingle Jungle 5K

We go way back and have had many adventures together. One of which was running in my first ever 5K. While picking up our packets before race day, we saw these super cute sequined running skirts. Since we already had some homemade bling for the race (it is Disney after all!) we liked the skirts and wanted to see if they’d add to our running ensembles. Only they were $65! No deal.

So I figured I could make one. I’m crafty! I can figure stuff out. How hard can sewing be? I went on a (seemingly daily!) trip to the craft store and picked out these beauties for about $15.

Fabric uncut

I measured, remeasured, and did the math to make my own pattern. I then sat down staring at this terrifying beast. (Play theme to 2001 A Space Odyssey here)

sowing machine

I had a crash course in sewing machine parts, sequencing, and pitfalls and got to work. The only problem was that the fabric that I’d chosen was so porous the stitches wouldn’t hold. And the sequins just sort of gummed in the machine. I did half a dozen test strips which all ended up like this:

messed upA whole lotta nothing.

So I scrapped the sewing machine and pulled out another idea: Safety pins! I liked this because it would still make a clean hem and hide the frayed edges of the fabric. But upon second thought it was a running danger. I’d like to run faster, but not because I had a pin repeatedly poking me in the bum. Plus it actually added a significant amount of weight to the fabric. So I scrapped that idea as well.

safety pins

Next up, my tried and true, MacGyver-worthy, ever-present friend: DUCT TAPE! Tracy introduced me to the joys of MacGyver so I figured this would be a fitting tribute to her. I went to work attaching the panels in sequence.

two panels, duct tape

Then I made the a waist hem and threaded and elastic band through.

waist band

This seemed to be working! The tape was holding at least a against a decent tug and added almost no weight to the skirt. A big plus for me especially while running!

Here’s how it turned out:

skirt completed Oooooh! Shiny!

I liked it so much, I made a second with left over fabric for me!

two skirts

 

I am very happy with the result. I did this, after all, not to make a perfect skirt, but to show love to my friend, Tracy. Valentine’s Day is often filled with chick flicks, tissues, and bon-bons. I wanted to remind my friend that she’s loved, appreciated, and rad. I giggled my way through the whole process, picturing Tracy’s face when she received this crazy skirt and a link to this post in a package with no other explanation. I am happy to share with her (and the world) just how MacGyver saved Valentine’s Day!

Finished Skirt

Pretty spiffy, no?

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